Matthew 12:46-50

Matthew 12:46-50 NIV

While Jesus was still talking to the crowd, his mother and brothers stood outside, wanting to speak to him. Someone told him, “Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you.” 
He replied to him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” Pointing to his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”

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"You can choose your friends but you sho' can't choose your family..."

The above quote is by the character Harper Lee, in the novel To Kill a Mockingbird. I thought of it when I read this passage from Matthew about Jesus' family wanting to speak to Him. His family is standing outside the synagogue and send in a message to let Jesus know they want to see Him. Chances are the place was packed and they couldn't get inside. Instead of Jesus getting up to go out and greet His mother and brothers, He uses the moment to teach.

Often we overlook the fact that Jesus had a family that He grew up with. He was firstborn of Mary. Her husband Joseph raised Jesus as his own, though Jesus was not his child. There are few biblical references to His family, but here are three.

Mark 6:3 NIV

Isn’t this the carpenter? Isn’t this Mary’s son and the brother of James, Joseph, Judas and Simon? Aren’t his sisters here with us?”

You might think that Jesus is estranged from His family. That may be close to the truth. Other gospels point to the friction in His home.

Mark 3:20-21 NIV

Then Jesus entered a house, and again a crowd gathered, so that he and his disciples were not even able to eat. When his family heard about this, they went to take charge of him, for they said, “He is out of his mind.”

John 7:2-5 NIV

But when the Jewish Festival of Tabernacles was near, Jesus’ brothers said to him, “Leave Galilee and go to Judea, so that your disciples there may see the works you do. No one who wants to become a public figure acts in secret. Since you are doing these things, show yourself to the world.” For even his own brothers did not believe in him.

Matthew doesn't clue us in on these family tensions. It's of no matter. Mary comes around soon enough, and James ends up taking leadership of his brother's church in Jerusalem. The point of this little story is not to illustrate family tensions for Jesus, but to point to something greater than family by blood. "Something greater is here" is a consistent theme in Matthew 12. That "something greater" is the kingdom of heaven, or should I say the family of God?

We've already heard Jesus tell us that there will be division in families over Him.

Matthew 10:36-37 NIV

a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.’ “Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.

So now Jesus uses the instance of His family by blood beckoning Him to teach that His truest family members are those who do the will of God.

Matthew 12:50 NIV

For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”

This might seem like a slap in the face of Jesus' family. It may truly have insulted them, but that is not Jesus' intent. He may very well have gotten up to go out and see them. But he used the moment to love and compliment His disciples gathered around Him. Imagine the twinkling delight in His eyes as He looked about the room! Imagine His eyes looking upon you as His brother, sister or mother.

Of course Jesus only claims one father, that is God in heaven. In the family of God there are many brothers and sisters. Sometimes we can be mentored by spiritual elders who become like fathers or mothers in some sense. The apostle John refers to fathers in the faith in His first letter. (1Jn 2:13-14) But in regards to Jesus, He only has one Father.

I find it interesting that Jesus feels a motherly connection to some in His church. With the revered status of Mary in the Roman Catholic tradition, this passage might seem to run counter to lifting Mary to a divine status with God. But there was no such tradition in Jesus' day, so we can't draw any conclusions from the passage regarding the Roman Catholic reverence for Mary.

What we can do is recognize that the church is the place where we can find close relations, closer perhaps than our own kin. Be mindful that such relationships are waiting to be formed. You may be a father, mother, sister or brother to someone. And you may find you need that kind of connection with a fellow disciple. Above all know that Jesus sees you that way. You are His true family when you do the will of His Father in heaven.