Matthew 19:1-12

Matthew 19:1-12 NIV

When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan. Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there. Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” 
“Havenʼt you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’ ? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
“Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”
Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.”
Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”

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Matthew 19 begins with a conversation about divorce and remarriage. It's not a popular topic to preach from the pulpit. In doing so the preacher will be poking painful places in the hearts of many in the congregation. Some stats show that 50% of marriages in America end in divorce.

There are many reasons for divorce. Some dissolve their marriages after the tragic loss of a child. Some divorce over fiscal difficulties. Some divorce because they fight all the time. Others divorce because they've grown apart and find there's not much they share other than an address.

Jesus was put to the test by the Pharisees as to whether it was lawful to divorce. In other words, according to the covenant through Moses, does God think divorce is right or wrong. Jesus referred to Genesis 1:27 & 2:24.

"So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.

That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh."

Jesus said what God joined together no one should tear apart. The Pharisees challenged Him because the Law of Moses specifically gives men the option to divorce their wives should they be unhappy with them.

If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, and if after she leaves his house she becomes the wife of another man, and her second husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies, then her first husband, who divorced her, is not allowed to marry her again after she has been defiled. That would be detestable in the eyes of the Lord. Do not bring sin upon the land the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance.
Deuteronomy 24:1-4 NIV

By reading the entire passage you can see that the certificate of divorce is not the actual law, but the remarriage to a formerly scorned wife who had been with another man is the issue. The mention of the certificate of divorce seems almost matter of fact.

Just as it is in the church today, so it was in Jesus' day in the Jewish faith. The scriptures are interpreted differently by different groups. Some felt a man could divorce his wife for any action that may cause him displeasure, like burning his breakfast. But another school of thought embraced the idea that only when a wife sleeps with another man, should a husband divorce. Jesus embraced the latter.

Some have interpreted Jesus' teaching here to mean that if a man divorces his wife in order to marry another woman, He commits adultery. Jesus felt that our hard heartedness is the reason Moses conceded to divorce, but it's not what God intended for us.

Today we talk a lot about marriage, about how it is only between a man and a woman, to the exclusion of same sex unions. But there is little said about the divorce rate and adultery with remarriage while your former spouse still lives. For myself, this is one of the great hypocrisies of the church today.

The apostles were alarmed by what Jesus had to say.

The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.”
Matthew 19:10 NIV

The apostle Paul believed the return of Christ would happen soon within his lifetime. He felt investing in marriage relationships was a distraction. It is better to be chaste and completely unhindered in order to serve the Lord.

"I wish that all of you were as I am (That is celibate). But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.
I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lordʼs affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lordʼs affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband."
1 Corinthians 7:7, 32-34 NIV

Jesus understood people in the same way. Not everyone has the gifts and graces to live a chaste life. We are sexual beings. It's a natural thing to desire sexual relations with an intimate companion. It's unnatural to deny our sexual drive. In the church there are some who have the grace to turn their energies toward an intimate relationship with God. Some mystics, both men and women, have considered God to be their lover. Therefore they are free from concerns around sex. But not everyone can do this. Not everyone hears that kind of claim on their lives from God. So Jesus, just like Moses, concedes. Those who can keep God's command should, but He acknowledged that there will be those who cannot. Jesus gives no warning if one should choose to divorce and remarry. He merely acknowledges that staying together is best.

Jesus uses the eunuch as an example. Some are born without the ability to carry out the sexual function. Some are castrated by others and turned into eunuchs. Slaves, especially those who watch over the harem, were castrated by their masters as a matter of course. Castration was meant to make a male slave more submissive. There are also some who choose the life of service and become eunuchs by their own hand.

Today, this scripture speaks anew to many in the church who hear Jesus speaking to our moral controversy over homosexuality. The eunuch was asexual either by birth, made that way by others, or by choice. In the same way lesbians, gay men, bisexuals, transvestites and transsexuals report a similar experience. There are some born that way. DNA has presupposed them to same sex orientation. Some were made that way by nature of what others have done to them. Some choose an alternative lifestyle.

According to Psychology Today, there's no convincing evidence to prove that a sexually molested boy will become a gay man, but it is recognized that such abuse will cause the boy to question his sexual orientation and, if gay, may hate his sexuality because He feels the sexual abuse caused his difference. I've talked to more than one lesbian woman who confided in me that because of what men had done to them in childhood, whether sexual, physical, or emotional abuses, they can never feel safe around men. They could never lie down with a man and feel safe. It would feel like more abuse and too traumatic.

There are some who just find the alternative sexual life to be more fulfilling than heterosexuality. They choose to be different as a means of self expression and self actualization. In some ways to be gay is an act of justice in their eyes. It's a way to say to the world, "I'm going to be true to my own self and no one will dictate to me how to live or who to love."

This world is made up of all sorts. Some can choose the holy customs of Jewish-Christian-Muslim faith. But not all of us can. I appreciate the acknowledgement on Jesus' part that people are differently gifted. Perhaps we can learn to appreciate those around us who live differently but love no less. Christian morals are not something everyone can embrace, but all people can embrace their need for love and acceptance, which God gives freely through the cross and resurrection of Jesus Christ. God is love and we ought to love one another.